Friday, 18 January 2008
Songs To Play When Your Boss Is Leaving
I will not apologise if this post comes across as juvenile-remember, possessing maturity is also knowing when to unleash your immaturity.
Some songs are better known as break-up songs, and a bad boss leaving is not too dissimilar to ending a toxic relationship.
Mix and match from the lists below:
Tell your (ex)boss how you truly feel after all the long hard days and grinding hours of working together side-by-side (and there is no such thing as *too* obvious):
Since You've Been Gone (Kelly Clarkson) : Ouch! Burn! Direct hit!
I Hate Everything About You (Ugly Kid Joe) : Oldie but a goldie.
You're History ( Shakespear's Sister): Three minutes of pure schadenfreude.
It's Like That (Run DMC)
Walk Away (Franz Ferdinand): If only for the refrain, "I love the sound of you walking away."
Problems (Sex Pistols) :Let Johnny Rotten and co. stick up two fingers if you can't do it yourself for legal reasons.
Banging On The Drum (Todd Rundgren): Your boss' head as a percussion instrument? Excellent idea!
Hole In The Head (Sugarbabes): Your personal Greek chorus of spiky, bitchin' girl pop.
I'm Not Missing You (Stacie Orrico): as above.
Extra points if you can work these songs into the farewell office party playlist or karaoke session.
Say Hello, Wave Goodbye (Soft Cell): So camp and theatrical that you won't need those glycerine tears.
Closing Time (Semisonic): College rock but full of timely lyrical advice, such as, "You don't have to go home but you can't stay here."
Con Te Partiro [Time To Say Goodbye] (various opera artists): The only time you can use a touching operetta as a backhanded parting gesture!
Don't You Forget About Me (Simple Minds) : Refrain from thumbing your nose at your (ex)boss during the 'La-la-la" outro.
Don't Look Back In Anger (Oasis): 'Don't look back' only because you are all thumbing your noses...!
Don't Dream It's Over (Crowded House): Caution: May cause blubbing amongst toadies and lackeys.
Goodbye My Lover (James Blunt): Be a sadist and inflict this on the office party. Also gains extra meaning in light of any soured office romances.
Songs to play to yourself after hearing the good news.
Now We Are Free (Hans Zimmer and Lisa Gerrard, 'Gladiator-OST'): It's a shame that gladitorial games are defunct, you'd pay good money to see your boss thrown to the lions.
Last Goodbye (Jeff Buckley): Too unnerving for the farewell party, a bizarre yet euphoric combination of Led Zeppelin and The Smiths (speaking of which...)
Frankly Mr. Shankly (The Smiths): "You're a flatulent pain in the arse", so sings Morissey to the titular character...
You Just Haven't Earned It Yet Baby (The Smiths)
Free-Fallin' (Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers): For the drive home.
A New Day Has Come (Celine Dion): For the drive to work.
When you really don't give a flying puck and feel like square-dancing amongst the cubicles and down the corridor.
Song 2 (Blur): Jump up and punch the ceiling in time to the chorus', 'WOO-HOO!".