Romantic poetry a la Eeleen. Hallmark cards please don't cancel my contract....
Candy heart gifts and chocolate are far from pathetic,
But darling, you forgot that I'm *diabetic*!
'Love Kamikaze' is one of your nicknames:
'When you go down, you go down in flames'
I care not for your flaws, warts, stretch marks and cellulite,
Because when Cupid took aim, he used an Armalite!
#4 Bella saw the fortune-teller about her fella
Who tell'd her, 'Stop hiding your love- dig him up from the cellar!'
Bella frowned- the answer didn't please her:
She preferred that other geezer she'd stashed in the freezer.
In such matters, it pays to be pragmatic:
Don't remain static and keep the corpses in the attic.
Love life affected by the global credit crunch?
Pray, desist from buying her a $5.99 McValue Lunch!
'Love is blind', there's no separation,
An accelerated process of macular degeneration.
He finally popped the question, so why so bitter?
Is is because he proposed via Twitter?
Once I tried speed-dating on speed,
It was over too soon, so I went back to weed.
On love's battlefield Cupid lurks like a viper,
Archery's outdated- now he's a sniper.