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Sunday, 28 February 2010

A User's Guide to Mythological Objects.

In honour of the upcoming remake of 'Clash of the Titans', let's get technical.  These items should have come with proper instructions, mortals are ill-equipped to handle or construct these objects. Its like giving a lightning bolt to a three-year old (unless the three-year old is Hercules...)

Gorgon's Head
Why isn't my target turning into stone?
Check that your target is standing no more than 3m away from you and making direct eye contact with the Gorgon's face. Using a mirror, check that both eyes of the Gorgon are completely open.

Warning: In the event of accidental petrification, consult a sorcerer or deity of your choice.
We are not liable for mishaps arising from the intentional/ unintentional misuse of your  Gorgon's head. In irreversible cases, we recommend that the statues be assigned new functions as garden ornaments and subjects of dinner-party conversation.

Golden Fleece
Although of divine origins, always wash your golden fleece in lukewarm water with mild detergent after use and drip-dry.

Pandora's Box
Read the warning stated on the outside. Includes Hope.

Trojan Horse
Functions only as a decoy, not as an armoured vehicle.
Do not exceed stated capacity.
Does not include toilet or other amenities.
Recommended for overnight use only.

Labrinyth
(Minotaur sold separately) If lost, please find your way out by following the thread.







3 comments:

Andreea said...

Hey there. Thanks for stopping by my blog. You have a nice website. I will try to stop by from time to time whenever my baby allows me to do so!

dadpoet said...

haha, love this. I'm looking forward to Liam Nissan releasing the Cracken, even though my 16 year old son thinks the monster looked better in the 80's movie. :)

lbdiamond said...

Great tips for Mythological Objects. Now I know how to wash my fleece. ;)

Disclaimer: The ball of string is also known as a "clue."

Lovely blog!!!

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