Related Posts with Thumbnails

Wednesday, 13 February 2008

Introducing: Culture Vulture

Just as the North American Indians, Inuits and African shamans of olde had power animals and spirit guides, I have adopted a 21st century power animal. I call him Culture Vulture. He sits ready and poised, to peck and dismember those narrow-minded dullards who have (you've guessed it...) no sense of high, low or popular culture.The ancients did not revile the vulture, because it is an emissary between life and death.The vulture subsists on carrion, thus clearing away dead matter and making way for new life.

People always say that I am being abit too harsh, but it is ironic that in the present day of increased media, more people are more unaware. Normal casual conversation is impossible when the following simple questions cannot be answered:

Q: What films have you seen recently?
(Stock Answer) : Dunno/ Can't remember/ ehhhhhh...

Q: What are your favourite movies/ songs/books?
S.A: Dunno, I go to the cinema I watch whatever.../I listen to what's on the radio/ I only read newspapers and magazines...

In such cases, I normally restrain Culture Vulture from swooping down and baring his talons. But in cases of wilful, blind assumptions resulting from unawareness and ignorance of general knowledge, I give Culture Vulture the all-clear. Such as:

Nik Kershaw is *not* some Anglo-Malaysian singer from Kelantan!
Sean Penn is not the capitol of Cambodia or Laos.
Roddy Frame is not the name of a piece of furniture or wall decoration available from Ikea.
JFK is not a fashion designer, like JPG or YSL.
The lead singer of Depeche Mode, David Gahan, is not dead.
"Depeche Mode" is *not* pronounced, "De-peach Mode" or "De-peck Mode"
Peter Gabriel is not some gospel singer.

London is a city in England, it is not England per se. When I tell some people I studied in York, UK, they ask, "Oh is that in London?" or "You mean London, is it?"

The "g" and "h" in 'Van Gogh' are silent. He was never a "Van Gog" or a "Van Goth".

The reason why art contains so many depictions of the nude women is that since the dawn of time, artists have always appreciated the aesthetic beauty of the female form. It does not mean that these artists were, "hum-sup" or dirty-minded.

YES! For sooth Shakespeare hath penned a surfeit of tragedie. Because tragedies put more bums on seats in those days.

For special cases, the Bearded Culture Vulture is available. She will rip out the stale innards of those who:
a) Mistake Al Pacino for a Starbucks Special Brew,.
b) Have never seen Stars Wars-AT ALL.
c) Would rather undergo a triple root-canal than watch a foreign-language film with subtitles.
d)Only heard about Leonardo da Vinci because of Dan Brown.

No comments:

Designed By Seo Blogger Templates